EvERyThING's OkaY ....

Nothing's alright, nothing's ok
I love you, and yet I want to run away
Thinking of you all the time all day
Your words repeating in my head, all the things you say

Feelings of remorse and misery not cast astray
No matter what I do, I always feel this way
Happiness is as brief as the blink of an eye
Returning to emptiness and sadness, I want to cry

Saying all the time everything's great, I'm just fine
I don't complain, or linger and whine

Just keep to myself, putting on a show for everyone
Feeling worthless and forgotten, i wonder who has won ?
Living for everyone but myself, time passes by so fast
Putting others first, leaving myself last

Helping others is best
Never taking a second to rest
I don't know why I feel this inside
Putting others first shoving myself aside

Feeling empty inside, like everything died
Experiencing all these emotions on this roller coaster ride
Hurting because its my true feelings I hide
True pain deep within, resented and denied

Accepting now that this is who I am
My schedule with others' needs I cram
Keeping all this inside, why do I feel like this
Thinking if I died it wouldn't be me you'd miss

Hating this incessant happiness I long for, such bliss
Lingering on bleak memories I can't resist
Squeezing my eyes closed, clenching my fist
knowing that i got such a fate, makes me so pissed

I'm here for you, to help and assist..
I don't want to hurt you, I want no more pain
I've only been hurt in life like a never ending rain..

All the stupidity all those years, just one and the same
For these feelings no one but myself I blame
Bearing all of this, my life this maims
Having no purpose for myself, no aim

I don't know why I feel this, everything is not as it seems
I don't need help, on no one I'll lean
I stand alone in this world, I'm not trying to be mean
Just learned a lot from what I've experienced and seen..

This life's always torn me apart from the seams
Just leave me, I bleed a lot
Don't worry, none of this I've been taught
I was born screwed up, for a reason the sought

But they found no reason for what I've got
Its no disease, no ilness of any kind
Nothing found wrong with my mind
Yet here we stand emotions entwined

There is no meaning here to find
There's nothing left here for you to see
Please just leave, I don't know what's wrong with me
I just want to run away, these emotions are taking a toll

Burning bleeding scars deep within my soul
I know I'm screwed up, that's why I isolate myself
I don't want to hurt any one else
I'm used to feeling pain, but its hard right now

I won't explain myself to you, I wouldn't know how
I just want to run away, but I know it will hurt you
I can't handle this,if only my life would have been mine ...
I would have wished that i die soon ,I don't know what else to do..

Just feeling more pain, nothing new...