LOVE'S RISK

There is risk involved in everything, everytime u share a smile, everytime u shed a tear, u r opening yourself up to hurt. Some people tread slowly through life, avoiding the closeness risk brings, side stepping the things they cant understand, turning away from those who care too much.
There is never an easy way to love, u cannot approach it cautiously , it will not wait for you to arm yourself, it does not care if u turn away. It is everywhere, it is everything. Love is the greatness of all risk, it strikes the strongest of mind and brings them to their knees in one blow. Even in the best of times, love hurts, It hurts to need , it hurts to belong, it hurts to be the other part of someone else, without either of your consent, but from the moment it overtakes you, it hurts worse to be all alone.
The risk of love never depletes, it grows more stronger and dangerous with time. but its in the total surrender of all defence, that we, no matter weak or strong, no matter willing or captive, no matter what, we truly experience love.
Despite many things love is not, outweighing it all tha things that love is. Love is surrender without a loss. it is the gift without the cost. It consumes your every thought and desire, every breath you take. It is the fire that fuels you, to do more than pass through life, it urges you instead to live.
No matter the outcome, having felt love, you will never be the same. It may scar your heart and soul and leave you only memories of forever, or it may cause everyday of your life to feel like there is no need for tomorrow.
But , love is worth it. it is worth the risk.....
For in all of life,
Love is the only risk worth taking......am i ready for it ???? ........

..................DonT b Too LaTE..................

I don't know how long I can go on living this lie,
Pretending that I don't love you.... till i die....

You told me not to fall for you, you wouldn't be there to catch me,
But my heart just wouldn't listen and now this feeling scares me....

I'm running around in circles, not knowing what road to take........
Scared to take the roads unknown the decision is so hard to make...

I wish you felt the same for me that I so strongly have for you.....
I pray at night that God will hear and make this one wish come true...

You confuse me with your actions, sometimes I feel like you more than care...
Other times you are cold and bitter as if you aren't even there...

So many times i wanted to say my feelings for you .....
but was taken aback by the fear of losing you ....

At times i feel ,
in memories i reel ....

They say "Never be late" in expressing your feelings ....
But this silence of your's is now getting too heavy .....

I'm tired of hiding how I feel so please be honest with me....
If you love me then just tell me, if you don't then let me be.....

Well finally its mine (and your)fate .....
but ,my life's moving a bit too fast ...dont be too late ....

plz dont be too late ....

Something Out Of Nothing ...

Life is amazing. It has more colours, shades and variations that you can possibly imagine, and you keep meeting more and more of these randomly. Perhaps there are more dark, sad ones than not..perhaps...but that's besides the point. I keep saying it's amazing because it just is. Life is both good and bad at the same moment for me. I have reason enough to be depressed, reason enough to be highly grateful to life and reason enough to be pleasantly surprised. (That's why I don't always go by reason; miss reason is herself confused!!)

End Sem exam time is always awful, though it never has been so bad. There have been just too many Workshops(most of them forced :D),presentations ,viva etc in these last 2 weeks, and no it ain't over yet. With my official responsibilities around and other activities that need effort there is always a shortage of time. I so wish for exams to start so I can chillax!

On other fronts, thank you to DC++ for all the Latest TV series(oh yeah...i m heavily into watchin HEROES,24,EVERYONE LOVES RAYMOND,KYLE XY these days !! :D)Thank you Sumit for running around with me for getting all the official work done, and thank you God for giving me some sort of a reason to stay alive even though I'm very very tired, seriously.

I was thinking today(like most of the times) about something important that I intend to doing (FINALLY !!! :P)in vacations this year (KK....for those of u who know what i m talking about ....yeah pplz ..i do believe the RIGHT TIME(:P) has indeed arrived and the BIGG day is going to b pretty sooner than never)and I realised spontaneity is absolutely essential for creativity and hence I should NOT think at all.

for example, the MEMO board in my room has some crazy scribbles, some of which read:

~ "If you wait long enough, you don't have to choose anymore...because life doesn't leave you a choice."

~ "I am so hard-working I hardly work."

~ "Wanted: Temporary boyfriend, permanent girlfriend, eternal friend."

~ "All coincidence is an act of fate and a nomenclature of faith."

~ "The point of life is lost on an over-stretched line that we all tend to toe."

PS:oh btw ..i 've decided to write all my future posts with proper word spellings ..so YOU (and not U) SEE(and NOT c)...:D

LiVinG a LiFE OrDinAriLY oRDiNarY.......

Being Ordinary is like being in love; you just know you are ordinary only when you are ordinary. And like love, it has the most intoxicating element : contentment.

And I love being ordinary and I want everything normal, thank you very much. But I am not so much ordinary as to come close to being extraordinarily ordinary. That would be against being ordinary. I am ordinary only to the limit of being ordinarily ordinary. I do not want to relinquish the idea of ordinary by being extraordinary in it.

Life is beautiful when one sees it from an ordinary point of view. If we contort ourselves and try to fit into something less ordinary, we contort ourselves and in turn produce irregularities to the view we see. And sometime the irregularities is so much that it often mislead us. People who sees life as frustrating are those who are tired of being ordinary, who have become less ordinary and no longer percieve life through ordinary eyes but through less ordinary eyes.

Being Ordinary is like being in love. The difference being, in being ordinary, you are in love with yourself, in a most narcissistic way.

BLOGGING STYLE ....

Its been sumtime ..i ve been expressing myself through this medium "blogging !!"....Today probably is the time to review ..wat has this blog given to me ...{and wat has it taken away ..!}!!

To b honest ..blogging has been a truly new{and enriching ??} experience for me ...it got me back to spending sum time on my artisitic pursuits -sketching drawing ..painting ..{ever noticed my caricature :D}!!it has given me MY SPACE on the web ..wich i had longed for... since longg !!..{but out of laziness for developing my own website ...did not have till date ...}..blogging provided me a convenient medium to vent out my share of rants and raves ...

But today wen i look back at my blog ...{woah ..wich has more than 15 posts now ...!!}...i wonder at the very reasoning behind creating it !!...since i never publicized my blog by posting its link on my orkut profile ..or my gtalk status !!i have soo many questions on my mind right now ...

more so after reading a post on BLOGGING STYLES by a veryy gud frnd of mine ...i feel like discontinuing posting on my blog {or even delete it ??}...till now ..the link to this blog has been with a handful few ...{whom i thot ..wuld -probably- understand ME }.but now i c ..dat blog's r supposed to b written by only prospective PULITZER prize winners ...!!wow ...

but again i wonder r blogs only for entertainment ?? writing amusing stuff wich ppl love to comment on ??

wat if i feel differently from most of the ppl out thr ??wat if i don feel like blogging abt "mosquito bites " {pun intended ..},sharapova's legs and worse abt "other ppl's blogging styles !!"??

wat if i write abt wat i feel most abt{life ..emotions ...social issues !!} ??

everyone of us in this world is unique !!aint v ??v all had our own share of expriences in our life{till date }that shaped US ...wat if i was brought up in a way ..that i appreciate things which an average teenager wuld laf at ..!!but then this veryy uniqueness of each one of us ..is the most exciting feature of human race ..isnt it ???

wat if ...my english or for that matter writing style aint that gud as few others of my age ...wat if i cant think the way they do ..{and they ..the way I do }...??

It is indeed high time for some introspection ...whr is this blog heading !!!??

i started it off as sumthing that i would cherish sumtime frm then ....but is it really shaping that way ??for whom m i writing this ?? as another of my frnds wrote in his blog ...to impress a gal frnd ?? GRE practise ?? lolz...but i m afraid i cant find my reason of starting this blog in any of these ..!!!my reason was i guess a lot simpler !!..jus express myself through ..everyday i encounter innumerous events and things that get me thinking ...or put me in midst of a storm of emotions ....and then they jus pass through ..i jus wanted to capture a few of those moments in words ....wich i can look back ...and laugh {cry ??}...and c the change i ve gone through ..over time {read discovering myself !!}!!.& .how really things in my life have changed .!!!

but den do i really want to do this ???

wat m i afraid off ??

m i afraid that ppl will start askin me abt ..whom those love poems and all{read senti stuff !!}r for ???

hell yea ..i ve liked a gal frm my childhood days ...and rather than havin everyday crushes ..and trying flirting arnd wid whomsoever i get a chance to ..i ve rather kept my feelings pure ...and {god willing }..wuld love to marry her ...and spend the rest of my life wid her ..{and her only ...}

btw ...she doesnt surf net ...and probably will never kno abt this blog ...so i dont really give a F*** to wat all others think abt me ....does that tag me ABNORMAL --a loser ???

i m not sure ....but if it does ..i have no qualms in even accepting that ...

for that matter ..i m still in two minds as to shuld i make this blog public ??or keep it wid myself {like i have done till now !}....will the blogger community ACCEPT me as another NORMAL guy {read blogger } on the block...or my blog is doomed to live life of a loner {jus like me ???!!}!!well i have my apprehensions but in the end only god knows ...!!

PROMISE .......

I love you
coz I love you,
I cannot give you a Reason,
True Love cannot be defined,
It has an Eternal Season.

If You ask how much I love you,
I might say I cannot explain,
Coz my feelings are so intimate,
But the Words are so Plain.

If You ask me how much I care,
I might just say 'so much',
Coz there are no words in the Language,
That can describe my care as such.

If You ask how much I miss you,
I might just say 'a lot',
Coz when you are away,I feel so lonely,
I try to be okay, but I cannot.

I don't decorate my feelings with words,
I keep my feelings just pure,
All I can give you is a promise,
I will keep loving you more & more !

FAILED.....

While cleaning my room today ..i stumbled upon this old news article about a 12 th class student named akash commiting suicide over his failure in class 12 th maths exam ….
That was sumthing really disturbing and got me thinking …as I reflect back on my own life …i find myself in a similar situation sum 2 yrs back …how does it feel to fail at an exam ….???fall short of people’s expectations ….???u kno ..as they say …thr’s nothing more free than free advice in this world !!!

I remember last vacations when I was home ….i had soo many ppl coming to me wid their wards for guidance ..{I din mind it ..!!}….but den every1 sumwhr DID TELL ME{and my parents as well!!} ..WAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO !!...oh …now u r in bits ..DO AN MBA AFTER ENGG. And then u r settled in ur life ….i was like ..huh y the hell shuld I do a mba ..if I don want to !!!and den who the f*** were they to tell me wat to do ….{i m blessed to have such understanding and non interfering parents …my parents never told me ..wat to do ..they jus said ..son, v belive in u …its ur life ..do wateva u want ..v ll b thr wid u ..}

y don’t they themselves clear CAT and make their own lives better {lolz..i m sure IIMs do allow ppl of ny age to take CAT !!}

But I guess not every1 is as lucky as me !

How do you feel ,when almost everyone tells u to become like som1 else,? Irritated? Frustrated? Angry? Disillusioned? Why can’t I just be myself? u want to shout, but no one listens. It’s a common story in Indian middle class families I guess …children are frequently hounded by questions like, your dad/brother/sister/uncle cleared IIT; why u could not? u want to answer, even I can do several things which they can’t. But no 1 listens again. u feel urself being judged by some1 else on the basis of ur board’s marks; or worse on the basis of ur CGPA wen in college.

Everytime, anytime. It’s the parents who decide everything for their kids, where everyone is besotted with the marks on their children’s report card, where only engineering and medical is considered “cool” or “ hot”. Where virtually everyone lives a programmed life. “ Do a Btech from IIT ,BITS or any other very goddamn “good” engineering college, do an MBA after that…blah,blah,blah."

Most of the Indian parent live their life through their children ( I couldn’t become a Doctor, if my son becomes one, the void in my life will be filled)… In their sons, they see themselves, through them..they live their dreams…. And they make sure that their children reach their goal. No matter what price it takes. Parent’s attitude dominates child’s aptitude. Are most of the suicides in our country driven parent's pressure? Their unrelenting nature of seeing their child successful. Everytime. Why in spite of loving their sons/daughters so much, they pretend to be a little so callous, strict, unrelenting. Their son’s marks mattering to them above everything else….. Above everything else….. Atleast that’s what they pretend and that’s what their children think…..That is why many Akash prefer dying than crying before their dad. Not that it is bravery or something; it still is cowardice, but a little less painful????.

We have an entire generation wanting to become doctors or engineers without asking themselves what they really want to become.Most of them must be like me{a few yrs back !!}, with no special aptitude for anything, not even wondering how to manage….not really thinking. Try your luck with everything, something hopefully will click….. But not every1 harbor’s the same views, there are some(and their number is very less) who have the philosophy of" One life,One dream,One chance"…. And what do v do? v Judge them by the same standards. The standards which say u are good enough only if u get more than x marks in physics, more than y in chemistry…..

Our present thinking and education system doesn’t do anything for to be writers, journalists, musicians….u want to prepare for engg.? Kewl. Our country has more than 500 coaching institutes and more than 50000 teachers to help u. But, if u want to be a creative writer…wait a second….what’s that?

And even after coming to BITS …thr r people back home who r worried abt my low CGPA last semester{gosh i m sooo happy ..thr r soo many ppl –not my parents--who care soo much abt me ….!!lolz}..and I ll probably ruin my vacations explaining them the reasons for that !!

But the point is, howsoever messed up people’s attitude in general is, does it matter? No matter, how much people demoralize you, does it matter? You should be able to back yourself up, trust your instincts and do everything (within your capacity) to do something you love doing. Because, you have only one life, you should do what you believe in, even if you fail you would have tried something you believed in and if you try hard enough, there is no reason you can fail. No one could have summed it up like Frank Sinatra did, “ You live only once, and the way I have lived, once is enough”.Is one life enough for you?

my CONVERSATION wid GOD .....

well, as indicated in my first post ...i ve written posts on love ,life ..and its turn to put up sumthing on GOD ..so here it comes ....

this post is not entirely my wrk though ...this is an assimilated wrk of fiction {and not my hallucinations [:D]} ....but i agree wid all that is thr .[:)]

NB:this is no copy paste entry ....read it to kno dat!!

Buzz

Buzz

God : Hulloooo.... Did u ping me?
Me: pinged you? No.. who is this?
God : This is GOD. I heard ur prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I dont pray.Actually its been sumtime i stopped praying wen u stopped aswerin them .

God:hmm thats y i m here ...

Me: Well i may have stopped praying now {for lotsa reasons ..}But i do remember u. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. i have to finish my ps report ...and presentation ...study java ..so much to do ..so less time ....arggggggh ..its virtually a rush hour everytime ..
God : Sure. Activity gets u busy. But productivity gets u results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on msngr.
God : Well I wanted to resolve ur! fight for time, by giving u some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach u through the medium u are comfortable with.

Me: lol ..kk..but now that u ve cum ..tell me why has life become soo complicated all of a sudden ?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.at any point of time ..thr r thousands of channels running in ur mind ....wat if i do dis ...wat if i dont .....cum out of this ...

Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : ur today is the tomorrow that u worried about yesterday.u are worrying because u are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.now u r worried about ur ps wrk ....ur screwed up CGPA ...ur life ...and all ..stop worrying ..time will take care of everything ...

Me: OMG ...oops ...but how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty. .
God : Pain is inevitable able, but suffering is optional.

Me: Cmon stop talkin in codes ...If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.

Me: huh ...u mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In all terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, y should we go through such tests?u kno re ....i jus hate tests .. Why cant v jus be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you! are free from problems.

Me: wowowo...plz cut the bigg words ...i m no gdk ...go talk to him if u want ..he blogs as well..."knioledge is power supreme"...btw he needs u veryy much now ...{counting his exile days in sum forsaken village ...part of his ps wrk u kno ...}...jus tell me in plain simple words ..y is it that i m soo confused ...i simply donno whr m i heading !!!!.
God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: oh plz ...i m fed up of philosphy ...if u wanna talk philosphy ...mebbe u shuld find sum1 else to pass ur time ...i kno one such guy ..go read vatsa's latest blog entry i m sure ..u ll like him ...but don bug ME wid more philosphy ...btw y is it my life running soo fast ???y do i feel like losin the race ???all the time ..Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me:u ditch me evrytime wen i need u ...!!! how do i stay motivated in tough times !!!???

God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: lol ..yea mebbe ..i m not dat screwed even ..nyways thnx for gettin me werever i m ....kk ..one personal question ...what surprises you about people?
God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me"

jus like U... Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: [:O]..kk nm ..i got ur point ..but den lets move to the basics ...Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here.y cant i get the answer ??
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me: lol ..but u seriously think dat its possible ???How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: hmm well...One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: OMg ..its already 12 ...i have soo much wrk ...and i m sure u mus also b havin sum more worthy wrk than talkin to a vella ???isnt it ?? nyways thanks for the wonderful chat .it helped .
God : Well. okay ..carry on with ur work.Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away".

Me:veryy true indeed .....!chalo cya ..bubye tc ...have fun ...!!asta la vesta adios !

God :bye son ..njoy life !

why ???

I love you
And I don’t know why
Everything about you makes my Senses Feel
And I mean it .....!

Your Eyes...That Can make Me Fall with a Single gape...
Your Voice ...That makes Me Melt Inside…
Your Arms...That Make My Knees Feeble and Weak
every time I Think Of, them Wrapped around me...

Your Smile...That Lingers in My Mind
Your Lips...That Stop My World Every Time , When I Think Of Them Touching ...!

What is it All about You ,I Can’t Figure Out?
What is it with You that makes my Heart Shout?
What is it about you that makes Me feel to You That I’m Eternally in Debt?

Is it Because of the Reality..!
That I am Not Worthy of Your Love
That’s why I find it hard to take This Sentiment away from Me
I’m scared.....!!!
Scared of the People around You, That Might Fall For You

Fall for the Same Girl I Love
Because I know someone as Precious as You will be adored Forever..
And Forever is What I’m Trying to Give To You

But I am scared...
Scared of Knowing...
The girl I love has Fallen For someone Else...
But I am Not Able To Realize That
MY BORROWED DREAM is Over ...!

Will Still Continue Feeling The Same Abt Her Forever ..
I wonder ???

PEOPLE WALK INTO UR LIFE ...

People cum into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you kno which one it is, u will know what to do for that person.

A REASON :When sum1 is in ur life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need u have expressed. They have cum to assist u through a difficulty, to provide u with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like God sent and they are. They are there for the reason u need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on ur part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes THEY ACT UP AND FORCE U TO TAKE A STAND {the most common case in my opinion...}. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer u sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

A SEASON:Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But its only for a season.

LIFETIME:Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.


Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were in for a reason, a season or a lifetime..........

WHAT DO YOU DO??

love jus happens --isnt it ??
thrs no reason for loving sum1 --so they say
but
What do you do when you think you're in love?
And that love comes from far up above?
When you first notice the feelings,
do you show them?
Or do you keep them locked inside your heart?
Do you keep them like that until that special one can find them?
Oh please tell me....
What do you do when you think you're in love?

Do you do like I do...
Wish, wait and want?
Or do you just sit and wonder
whether it's right or wrong?
Just tell me,
What do you do when you think you're in love?

WHEN THINGS .....

When little things in life, start getting on to you, it helps once in a while to sit down...and zoom out...out of the city..out of the earth...the solar system..out of the universe...now look closely...YOU DO NOT EXIST...now trying looking for that small thing that was bothering you...

try it out !! it really works !!{atleast for me !}

LOVE U........

I love you
But my love for you
Is unlike all other loves
I keep these innocent feelings
Deep inside my soul
Always keeping you unaware
I don’t know why...
Why am I doing this?

May be because
I think
I am not worthy...
Not worthy of your love.

You are more confident
You are more intelligent
I am shy,
I am always hesitant
You are more desirable,
You are extraordinary
I am quite simple,
so very ordinary

You are more expressive
You are more vibrant
I am very quiet,
so very silent
You are always joyful,
so crazy,
and so mad
I reserve my feelings in my heart..
So sappy, and so sad.

There is only one thing..
Only one thing where you just…
Just cannot surpass me
That’s the Enormous love for you
That has filled the empty soul inside me....!

NOT THINKIN OF U .....

I wake up
In the mornings
And go about
My day

Thinking about
Not thinking
About you

I laugh
With friends
I smile
To strangers

Thinking about
Not thinking
About you

I pretend
I'm happy
Sometimes
I don't
Pretend to be

Thinking about
not thinking
about you.....

But at the end of the day

I turn
down to bed
Blow out
the lights
and
think about
not thinking
about you ..!

How Strange ..?

LOSING IT ALL.....

It is a terrible thing for a person to lose the will to live.

It is an extremely terrible thing
for an artist to lose the will to create...
or a dancer to lose the will to dance...
or a singer to lose the will to sing......

I call these people depressed.
But it is the worst of all,
when a child loses the will to dream.

I call these people adults.
No matter how hard we try,
We will inevitably be forced by social conditioning to turn into adults.
That is a sad thing.
But lucky for the world,
there are still children,
And with children come dreams, and hope.

And that is why I do not want to grow up ever.

I used to believe that if I stayed in bed,
I would stay in yesterday,
I would never grow up..Just like Peter Pan.
Just like tom n jerry...
It didn't work.

Now,
People want to judge me when they truly do not see
All I am, all I want, all I need to be complete
They see I’m not a girl seeker..
a man, a momentarily cool one
I do not dare to understand
Why they dont see me, on my judgment..?


maybe I don't know how to talk
cause I spent most of my life in silence
maybe I'm afraid to make a move
cause I fear that it will just cause you...hate me
may be i dont know how to act with kindness
cause i dont have any...

why be better when you can be Equal...??
why attack when you defend..?


n if others think the same
wat has rest of humanity missed...!

............................

My Unsaid words
My Untitled story
My Untold feelings
My Nameless relation
My Incomplete Narration
My Unwished desires
My Unspoken Love
Are All like a Broken Promise!

Things i wish I'd say To you One Day,
like a past never Can Come Back
I Know Other Then Hello , Hi..
There Should be Something Else Said,
But I Absolutely Hate Admitting that to Myself ,
{But I had too..!}
I Love Youuu..!
{I'm Sorry, I Just Can't Deny the truth}

But;
How Do You End That Thing You Didn't Start ?
How Do You Mend an Unbreaking Heart?
How Can Your Unwished Desire Be fulfilled ?
How Can Your Unspoken Love Be Heard ?
How Can Your Undescribed Feelings Be Understood ?

Then I Think,
If You Could not Understand My Silence
Then, Probably You Would Never Have Understood My Words Too..!

SoMeTiMeS!!!

This one is another of my favs from
Salman....U jus rock dude ...

sometimes i smile
sometimes i cry
sometimes im fearful
sometimes i want to die
sometimes im tearful
sometimes im happy
sometimes im sad
sometimes im sappy
sometimes im mad
sometimes i cant say
sometimes i talk all the way
sometimes i want to hold my breath
sometimes i want to call upon death ..........

I just live every emotion ,Moment by moment.. Day by day ....!!!

WHAT are you DOING with your LIFE ?

oh yeah ..this was the title of the book by j. krishnamurti i read today ....i got it day bfr yesterday frm landmark {the forum mall ..koramangla ,bangalore }...i was in no mood to part wid the lil money i was left wid [after payin for the exorbitant house rent jus a few days ago ...{6000 buks for two months ...!}..and den gettin an airtel broadband connection again made me poorer by 2000 bucks ...]..atleast on books ...but den the question on the face of this book was too potent to b jus ignored ...i turned to the preface ...only to find that this was one of those books ....wich deserved to b spared even the last penny in my pocket ..........

wat was soo special in the preface that prompted me to purchase it ...??

well !!thr were questions ......and more questions ...!!!

-->don't u want to find wat u really love to do in life ,instead of merely aiming at a career?

-->are ambition and competition really necessary in order to live in dis modern world ?

-->wat is ur response to the problems of society , such as poverty ,corruption and violence ?

-->wat is ur relationship to ur parents and teachers based on ?submission ?rebellion ?...understanding ?

-->what do love and marriage mean to u ?

-->how do u deal wid ur own psychological problems like boredom ,jealousy ,hurt ,pleasure

fear and sorrow ?

-->wat r ur views on the purpose of human existence,on death ,meditation,religion and God ?

rnt these pertinent questions in every1 of us's lives ???

well atleast they r ..in mine ....

so it wasnt really a tuf decision to go for it or not ..:)

[btw i have always believed in ...

"if a book is worth readin it ...it is worth buyin it ..."]

Now that i knew my 40 min trip to my ps station {yea ...traffic in bangalore sux ....}was goin to b borin enuf and dat today i may have to spend most of my time thr also waitin for mr prabhakar{asstt manager BgSE ...bangalore stock exchange ..and my Practise school station supervisor....}...i decided to grab the copy ... while leavin for Bgse .......

Te introduction to the author was another revelation ..dis guy was born of indian parents but had his education in england ....blah blah blah ....shuld suffice to state that krishnamurty was conferred as one of the 5 saints of the 20 th century by the TIME magazine ...{along wid others like dalai lama and mother teresa ...}....and dat he went on to enlighten ppl all over the world wid his philosphy ....

hmm pretty gud read ..dis one mus b ..i thot...mebbe dis was the book i was lookin for all the time durin my desperate search for a philosphy book wich shall explain me the true meaning and purpose of life and existence ...over the past few years ....

the book starts wid a discussion of human mind and our inner self ....

actually the book is not a start -->finish piece of writing but rather a collection of krishnamurti's conversations wid students all over the world ...

he talks abt love,sex,relationships,pleasures,ambitions,fear,consciousness,pain ,sorrow ...worship ...GOD .....and wat not ...

soo....wats different here !!! ...than other phillosphy books ...and preachers ....???

yea ..dats whr the diff lies ....krihsna DOESNT PREACHES .......he rather takes u on the path of self discovery ...

he keeps on posing questions after questions ....and asks u to discover the answers ......URSELF!

there is no path,no authority ,no guru to follow .....he makes u believe U have he capacity in urself to find out what u r ,wat r u doing wid ur relationships and wid ur wrk.

its all abr experimenting on ur own....someone else's truth sounds only like opinion until u try it out for urself.....V must look thru the microscope of life oursleves ,or v ll b left wid the dust of words ..and not the actual perception of life .....

how true !!! isnt it ???

the crux of his teaching ..{really ?}..is .....U ..he helps u discover urself ..self knowledge is all he stresses all the time ...throughout the text ....

i liked it ???

hmm .....YES! ....a real nice read .

{warning : it shudnt b read like a novel .....but taken as a wrkbook ...}

lemme c ...whr does the application of his principles ..takes me on the road of self discovery ...!!

{for the time being ..i m veryyy much impressed !...}

LOVE!!

The word that has amazed me all the time{and still amazes me ..} with the different meanings it acquires in different contexts .have you ever wondered how a single word could mean soo much!! .but for most of us and most of the time we happen to limit its meaning to that special feeling for that sumone special belonging to the opposite sex...isnt it ???

Have you ever been in love? terrible isn't it? It makes u so vulnerable.It opens ur chest and it opens up ur heart and it means that someone can get inside u and mess u up. You build up all these defenses, u build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt u, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into ur stupid life...u give them a piece of u. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss u or smile at u, and then ur life isn't ur own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside u. It eats u out and leaves u crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-u-and-rips-u-apart pain.

the best ever quote !!

k here i go wid my fav quote .....{i remember clearly first sent to me in a mail by ram bhaiyya sum 2 yrs back .....}

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.

Talent will not;
nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not;
unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

Education will not;
the world is full of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.'

-- Calvin Coolidge



how true and inspirin ...isnt it ??

first post !!

hmm ..so finally i m here !! its been sumtime i started thinkin of havin my own blog ........but due to lot of reasons {laziness topping them all ...:P}...things got delayed.....

as i write this first entry ...i would like to warn every1 that "i have had no luck wid english grammer skills .......so dont expect the best of literature frm me.."

this place is jus to vent out all my good,bad and ugly feelings ....things i believe in,things i care abt {and wich i don care abt !!}, and things i feel abt ! well i dont write much ....or rather to b precise i take to writin only wen i veryy strongly feel abt sumthing .....{wen i m extremely pensive ,extremely happy or mayb sumtimes wen i m extremely bored ...}

i m not sure ..whr dis blog gonna head to ....but i guess it'll b mostly abt LOVE,LIFE {and lovelife?? 0.o}and GOD{3 things i feel most strongly abt !}....

:P.S1:this writeup folllows frm me being in the ultra bored state .sittin in my insti library {tryin to fiddle a bit wid my new OS SUSE 10.2 ..}.. while almost every guy in the campus has left to home ....barring a few unfortunate {and velle} like me and a few psychos {following their projects and all }. btw ..suse roxx!

:PS2:u would have already got an idea of my level of english by now ..if only u noticed that i have mispelled "grammar" as "grammer"...this was pointed out to me by sum1 close who happened to read this blog first .[:D]